duane

Last Wednesday we arrived in St. Thomas. All I wanted to do was get to a beach and lay on it. I think God decided to take me on a detour into different people's lives along the way. First I got stuck waiting for a taxi to go to the beach because apparently a taxi wouldn't just take one person (I was by my self), I needed a whole group who wanted to go. In my waiting I ended up laughing and talking with the security people who were unloading boats. One of the guys, Ezra offered me his car to take to the beach! But I couldn't drive on the left side of the road. Then he went and found me a taxi. He also offered me a free tour of the island later.

After 2 hours I finally get to the beach! As soon as I layed down it started raining on me. I went under the shelter and waited out the storm. When it ended I threw my stuff down on the sand and was running into the ocean. I saw the life guard saying something to me, but I couldn't hear him so I ran up to him and said,"what?" He said, "oh I just said be careful out there, its dangerous today." We started talking and kept talking for 2 hours. We found out we are both Christians and began sharing our stories with eachother.

He talked so honestly and passionately about how he is learning that following Christ is about living a life of sacrifice, surrending your will to God and resting in Christ's atonement. It was like he spoke into my life, saying things I needed to be reminded of and hear in my preparation to move to Spain and to follow God with this next big step in my life. It was one of my most favorite conversations of my life! His name is Duane. After our conversation he said he wanted to give me a book that changed his life. He ran to his car, wrote a little note in the book and gave it to me! This is what I wrote later that day about this experience:

"And I’m standing here connecting with this man who is from St. Thomas about our lives, our initmacy with Christ and living a life of obedience to God...knowing it is hard yet worth it. When I dream of the Caribbean I dream of laying in the sun and looking at the water. Today I was there but I wasn’t laying or looking... I was standing, listening, connecting with another human being from a completely different place in the world. We stood on common ground, on the truth of Chirst and love for the Gospel. We looked forward to the day when we will see eachother again, when we are in true paradise."

the caribbean

Back in November Carole Ardizzone (one of my mom's friends from Charlotte, who is now my friend too and is someone I really admire in so many ways) called me up and invited me to come on a cruise with their family. I just got back from this cruise yesterday. I love the beach more than I can even express in words.

I used to have this screensaver that was of pictures of crystal clear wate, white sand beaches and palm trees and I would dream of going to a place like that. In the middle of winter my sophmore year of college I got home from class one day put on my bathing suit, turned up the heat and sat there and watched my screensaver and cried because I wanted to be there so bad! hahaha.

I got to see these images in real life this week. I would lay on the beach and think, "is this real?" I can't even believe I am here now, this is what I dream of!" I even got to run on the beach to Chariots of Fire sound track, which is something I have wanted to do for years! (I just got an ipod in December which made it possible for the first time on this trip). I got up and watched the sunrise over the ocean every morning and the sunset every evening I would lay on the beach and think, "I dont think there is a person here who loves this more than I do." I savored and enjoyed laying on that beach to the complete fullest I knew how to savor and enjoy something, like it was the last piece of dark chocolate in the world. I really can't express it in words, but I am so thankful for this experience. Carole and her family have given me more than I could've imagined one person giving another. I am so undeserving of all they have done for me since I met them back in June.

I feel like I got to taste heaven for a brief moment, now I am back in Memphis and even after having been to tropical paradise I am glad to be back home. With out having cell phone service or internet connection on this trip it made me realize how deeply I will truly miss my friends and family when I move to Spain. This week is my last week of living in America. I will enjoy and savor the people in my life to the complete fullest I know how to.

memphis!

I remember sitting around the kitchen table on Dec 28th, 2005 in Wilmington with my family, praying about where God would lead our family next. The next day dad took the position at Hope in Memphis. When he said we're moving to Memphis all I could think was Memphis?... Tennessee?? that is soooo random. I thought, "oh my gosh it's taken us 22 years to get from the middle of Kansas to the beach, wasn't the paradise of the beach our final destination? aren't we taking steps backwards along the latitudinal line? what is even in Memphis? I really didn't want our family to move there. But I thought well at least I don't have to live there since I am going to graduate. Mom and Dad can just give me the house in Wilmington and I can stay and they can go wherever they want. They didn't really go along with the idea of giving me the house....

After my decision to go to Spain, I realized I needed to go home to raise support.... which meant ten hours away from Charlotte and like 14 hours away from the beach. So in the beginning of October I moved to Memphis to live at home, home but not really home.... yet!

I can't imagine having never come here. I have fallen in love with Memphis, not because of the place but because of the people here. I have never seen a group of people so welcoming and with such open arms to a new person. This church totally embraced me, took me in and made me a part of who they are. Janna Oakes invited me to be a leader with the youth group. I have fallen in love with their students! God placed so many friends in my life here! He provided a really good friend, Jessica, who has been there for me since the day we met, especially during the difficulty of support raising and just someone to always hang out with! Yesterday these friends devoted their whole bible study time to pray for me and I felt so encouraged and loved. They really showed me some of God's purposes in bringing me here.

Even though Memphis has been far away from "my paradise" it has taught me how to find "paradise" in people and in God by watching how he does what is best for us even when it seems random, hard, confusing, and leaves us with a lot of questions. This experience in Memphis, this experience of these people proves again to me how he knows me better than I know my self. He is not random, but has purpose in every detail...even "moving me backwards along the latitudinal line."

When Jesus was going to the cross, surely all the dicsiples were like "a cross?" Why would God use a cross for his means of salvation and glory? Isn't a cross kind of random? Sometimes things don't become clear until later...now a cross makes perfect sense to us, but in that moment I'm sure they were like,"wait...what?" SO as I go to Spain (such a random place to me right now) I am confident that "as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His ways higher than my ways, and His thoughts higher than my thoughts." ~ Is 55:9

plus i never would have found my awsome hair stylist, Amber! haha

thriving years

On May 7th 2006 I graduated from college. I walked across the stage leaving four years of greatness, fun, beauty, excitement, and alomst perfect friends... Only to find an abundance more as I traveled from place to place, to different families and friends, as I traveled a step at a time in God's leading.

Right after graduation I went from Boone to Wilmington. I spent two weeks laying on the beach every day, dreaming and imagining all the possibilities, opportunities, options, and courses I could take next. I was filled with ambition, passion, and excitement! I had no plans for the rest of my life and the attitude, "dream big, God will exceed my dreams in ways I can't imagine. ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN!"

Since then I've spent the past 8 months traveling and living in different places. Through out those months God has been slowly but certainly guiding me in these steps to Spain.

I just took my last trip to North Carolina. I spent 5 days saying goodbye to so many of my friends. I have never felt so loved by so many people at the same time. Kat threw a goodbye party for me. At my church in Banner Elk they prayed for me and Pastor Carl annointed my head with oil. I have never felt as encouraged at a church service than I did that day. I got to see my middle schoolers from Forest Hill, they were on the ski trip and staying in Boone. I got to spend good quality time with my brother and sister and so many friends. It felt like heaven! I felt so undeserving of all this and so grateful.

As I drove back to Memphis yesterday I kept thinking "those were my thriving years, I thrived in that place and with love for those people." Then I realized maybe "those were only the beginning of my thriving years." So I left the place and people I love... the place and people and experiences that TAUGHT me to love, to go love more people and more places.... more of the world!

"God is magnificent, he can never be praised enough. There are no boundaries to his greatness." ~ ps 145:3 (msg)
"...how pleasant and fitting to praise him" ~ps 147:1

eternal hanging out!

"Relationships are eternal."

I can't express how much comfort I find in this statement. I love my friendships so much. It is so hard to think about saying goodbye to so many people I love. During our training they said people who move a lot are constantly going through a revolving door of relationships. I don't want to go in and out of relationships as they describe.

When I think of my relationships as something eternal, I see all my friends permanently in my life. We become a part of eachother's lives forever! That is exciting! Like eternal hanging out! Though everyone has been present in my life at different points in time, my knowing them will last and my love for them will last. Their relationships makes an impact and mark on my life that lasts and I take with me, even when I don't see them every day any more.

So instead of seeing relationships as a revolving door I see them as a door once walked through, it is never walked out of. As I continue to enter relationships, they will continue to change me and grow me. Each relationship I have expands and opens my life and my world. I can live larger with each person I love, with each person who loves me.

"He is before all things, and IN HIM all things hold together." ~ Colossians 1:17

It is still hard to leave though....

aww the team!

(mike, me, david, jamie)

I thorougly enjoyed getting to know the people I will be working with in Spain over the past 3 weeks. We are all so different, but really get along well!

Jamie was a highschool spanish teacher. She is from Iowa. I feel like we could sit and talk for hours about anything. She has a very nurturing and loving personality. She is so genuine in the way she treats and loves others. I am excited to have another girl on the team. We will be living together after the first 6 months or so.

David just finished working at the Billy Grahm offices in Charlotte. After David was accepted by World Harvest, he heard that I was thinking about applying so he called me and we met up for coffee and he really helped me in my decision to do this. His passion and understanding of the Gospel are so refreshing and sincere! I love it! I think David is really wise.

Mike is awesome. He is from Wyoming. I met him for the first time at this training and I really appreciate his humor! He made me laugh so much over the past few weeks. Mike is a man with great character and integrity. He is a deep thinker and I love to hear his insights on faith and on God. He also writes, plays, and sings really good music. I listened to it the whole way back to Memphis.

So that is the team! Please continue praying for us and continual unity on the field and that God would develop rich friendships among us and those we will be reaching out to, that they would come to believe and know Christ.

understanding from around the world

The first night I got here there was an instant bond with all of us as soon as someone said "support raising". At that moment I realized that everyone here understands what I have been through the past few months and I understood them. That was so refreshing. We got out a map and all put our finger on the country we will be going to. Now these 3 weeks are over and I have found an increasing common bond and connection with these people who are all about to go out into the world with a passion for the Gospel.

"Though it cost all you have, get understanding" ~ pr 4:7

Now as we enter all these new cultures we will experience it together, yet miles away. As we keep in communication we will be able to identify with eachother in deep ways as we go through culture shock and the realities of moving overseas. I feel comforted knowing that I will have understanding coming from people all around the world!