December and January have been a whirlwind. I began a new job at Hope. It is so wonderful! I get to do what I love. But with it comes great challenges: the urge to take on way more than I can handle, over working, growing a ministry, the pressure of number goals, and people please like crazy. Two Sundays ago I felt so excited when more people than ever had come to the the young adult community. The following sunday our numbers went to a new low. I was discouraged, very discouraged.
But today I thanked God for bringing so few people last Sunday because he has done so much in my heart through that. Through it he has also given me a new vision, passion and perspective on ministry, himself and myself. As I see more of my weakness, I see more of his grace and patience with me. I also see more of his strength and his heart and his love as we walk through this together.
For Christmas my dad gives a uniquely special, thoughtful gift to each of us. Along with it comes a heart felt letter which usually makes the whole family cry because they are so full of love and thoughtfulness. "Molly, what I'm giving you was so very foundational, directive, and formative for both your mom and I in our early years of ministry, that I want you to have it as well, I hope it will be every bit as foundational and instructive and tangibly practical for you too as you learn to lead people in Christ." It was a cd set of teaching on leadership by Howard Hendricks. I have been listening and learning ALOT from it since I received this gift.
So with that teaching, the example of my parents, disappointments, some verses in Colossians, and God's treatment of me, He has infused new perspective in me.
God is showing me how he cares more about the quality of my character than the pace of my growth. He cares more about our relationship and our love than how many emails and phone calls I do in a day. He cares more about my heart than my appearance. He cares more about the quality of endurance built in me than the finish line.
And so similarly, as far as ministry goes, my perspective is changing from quantity to quality. From numbers to hearts. From tasks, plans, and projects to discipleship, spiritual growth, prayer and relationships. My mom always says, "there are only two things will last forever: the word of God and people." I want to invest in people. I want to make disciples who will go out and make more disciples, who will bear fruit and invest in more people who will then go out and do the same.... and so on and so on. I want to know and love God more. I want to be formed into the image of Christ more than I want any of the other things that come or go in ministry... to invest in what will last, people, the hearts of people.
