transcending

(a picture of Christmas time this year)
As I reflect on the story of the birth of Christ, this is the imagery that comes to my mind this morning.

I imagine the world going about their normal lives, except for a few... Mary, Joseph, the 3 wise men who are following this scary path of trust. I imagine God conducting this great symphony in the sky, aligning the stars and planets as he created the Bethlehem star (which was actually Jupiter- the "planet of Kings" and Venus-"the mother planet" coming in such close conjunction which became the brightest star man had ever seen) and all the math of the orbits lining perfectly to lead the wise men to find Jesus.

I imagine it being a great symphony telling the story of the climax of history, the entrance of the coming savior into the world, The King of Kings entering as a baby... in such a way we would never expect. No one understanding the grand-ness of what all is going on, it is all behind the scenes, above their heads... but God is conducting something powerful.

Maybe these few people can hear the melodies faintly like when you hear sound coming from someone else's headphones. But if one were to put them on they would hear clearly the drums, the thousands of strings, the deep bass, and high pitches coming together creating a symphony.

To the eye you see a manger and a few people and a baby. In reality it was the pinnacle of everything we have ever hoped and longed for entering our world. Our perfect God coming to our sin-stained earth in such a humble way that transcends all understanding.

The reason this imagery holds so much value to me right now... is because God has given this to me for my own life. I have been so worried and filled with anxiety lately. Thoughts and fears of God forgetting me. And over this past week, he has filled me with a peace I cannot explain. A peace that "transcends all understanding". He has given me a confidence that he is conducting something behind the scenes, above my head, he is orchestrating some story and I have no idea the greatness. I can hear it faintly like headphones I have not yet put on. So I am filled with hope, trust and praise. "Hope shall change to glad fruition, faith to sight and prayer to praise." (a few lines from the hymn, "Jesus I my cross have taken")

"Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." ~ phil 4:7 (msg)

He is so trustworthy, he is working something out in all our pain, all our uncertainty, and all our hopes. He is good. He is worthy of praise even when his work feels faint in our lives. Praise is the deepest form of trust.

"Praise almost seems to be inner health made audible." ~ C.S. Lewis.

Imagine our trusting praise mixed with his grand symphony. Faint to the ear, powerfully audible to the soul.

a re-occuring lesson

This is actually an old blog from 2007 when i was living in Spain, but I have been encouraged by it because i am learning the same lesson recently but with a new set of circumstances. (the photo is Christmas time in Spain)

"'today you will be with me in paradise' is what Christ whispers to every dying saint"

I read this quote in a book opened up in someone's bathroom the other night! and I was very encouraged in that bathroom.

Lately I have been experiencing my weakness as God has been sheding light of the width and depth of my sin. I've been seeing my lack of trust as I am about to go through another transition (as I move and as my friends go home for the summer). I'm so in love with where I am and the people around me that I fear to loose them and my fear makes me want to take control... in this uncontrolable situation. So I am faced with the difficult question, does my love for God's gifts exceed my love for him? Can I really loose all for his sake and know that still I am loved beyond measure, beyond anything anyone can offer?

As my awareness of how unworthy I am grows... I wonder why God would even want to use someone like me? I got home the other night discouraged by all this and sat down with my roommates for dinner. Our conversation lasted two hours. For the first time I feel like I was truly able to express my heart and my love for Jesus to them in Spanish. They were talking about how they hate the church because it is so hypocrytical, only wants power, and you must look and act a certain way to go. I told them I know of churches where the genuine desire is to share God's love with broken, sinful, needy people. I said in my church in America (HOPE) people can come just as they are and know they are embraced and loved by God not because they are good, but because He is and Jesus died for this. I told them that He is my life and I love him and enjoy him. I don't think I am perfect because I sin... a lot... every day and every day I ask for forgiveness.

Flora said, "molly I'd like to think like you." and I said "oh you can!" she said "no I can't do the religion thing." I said "you don't have to do anything, it is about what jesus already did for us." she said "and that is the problem, I don't believe in God or Jesus."...and my heart breaks... But I could sense that God's spirit was working in this apartment, in that conversation and I remembered that it is in God's character to use broken, weak people so he gets the glory... maybe that is why he'd like to use someone like me.

Moving on and stepping forward when it is hard and when it hurts is about dying to my selfish desires, dying to my self, laying down my life and walking a step at a time, trusting the One who ultimatley died because he loved me more than himself.

The other night a group of Americans (who are visiting for a prayer conference) and I were sitting around after a dinner on someone's patio and they brought out a guitar and started singing this hymn, "you can have all of this world, give me Jesus, give me Jesus... " And I opened up my hands and let go of my love for these things, these people, this apartment, this time in life, these gifts and sang "you can have them all.... give me Jesus." I am sure this is a process where I will let go and grab back on and let go and grab back on... but I know I am guaranteed help from Him. And I don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next month or the next year, but as I let go of my life and I die to myself... today I am with him in paradise.

running and God

(some of the places ive run over the years)

I used to hate running… until the summer I lived in Brazil in 2003. I stayed with a family in a very small apartment.. For a spoiled American the icy cold showers were unbearable. So to fix this “problem” I came up with a brilliant idea: get all sweaty and hot then jump in the shower and it will feel amazing. Thus, begun my daily routine of running on the beaches of Brazil. After 10 minutes I would return, pouring out sweat and gasping for water. The family would simply say, “done already?” But the cold showers became my reward. Which lead to my motivation to keep running.

I started out using running with a goal in mind: to lessen the intensity of coldness of my showers. But somewhere along the way I began to fall in love with it. I began to actually enjoy it for what it was in itself.

I think sometimes people kind of look at God how I looked at running. When you first start out seeking God, it is usually seeking him for what he can do for you. He can give you blessings or fix your problems. There is an end in mind and God is the vehicle to get you there. But somewhere along the way you begin to fall in love with him. You begin to actually enjoy him for who he is in himself.

I fell in love with running so much that summer that I have done it for the past 7 years almost on a daily basis minus traveling and sickness, not because it will get me a good shower anymore, just because I love it and enjoy it. But the side affect is that the consistency has built strength and endurance in my body. I can run for an hour now compared to the 10 minutes that limited me in the beginning.

When we begin to seek God on a daily basis because of love and enjoyment of him, we find that the side affect is growth and endurance in our character. And the pattern goes like this: we feel weaker yet are made stronger, we suffer yet have peace, experience pain yet receive healing, endure trials yet develop perseverance, we learn discipline yet we’re set free, we see how sinful we are, yet how loved we are, we have many sorrows yet receive greater joy.

God is not a means to an end, we don’t seek him to get a reward, we seek him because he IS the reward. When we see that he sought us, sent Jesus, his son to die for us, not because we could do something for him, but just because he loved us for who we are ourselves, we in turn are drawn to seek him not for what he can get us, but for who he is himself. Blessing most certainly comes, but it isn’t the goal anymore. Day after day and year after year we will only fall more in love with the one who loves and enjoys us.

fruit that lasts

This morning I was reading John 15 on “The Vine and the Branches”. I desire for God to bear fruit with my life. I have been thinking about this concept as I have been thinking a lot about discipleship.

In the Greek whenever it talks about fruit, it is talking about a continuing process. And I was thinking about how fruit naturally multiplies itself by its seeds. It naturally reproduces its life in planting seeds that sprout into more fruit and more fruit that goes on to do the same! Just as we are called to do with our lives.

But that is a big responsibility to reproduce our lives or multiply our spiritual lives in the lives of others. How are we supposed to even do that?

The answer:

Remain. To Remain in Christ. Just remain. That’s all. Here are some other meanings of “remain” to meditate on:

Abide, cling, continue, delay, dwell, endure, last, linger, persist, reside, rest, tarry, wait…. In Christ.

Then I read, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (john 15:5). But I was thinking about how many things we do apart from him. We build big businesses, we develop non-profits that raise billions of dollars for good causes, make good music, build houses, neighborhoods and cities, we’ve developed the internet and modern communications, cars, planes, and space travel. How much has the human race done while not necessarily remaining in him?

So what could Jesus have meant?

Maybe he meant we can do nothing ETERNAL apart from him. Nothing that lasts can be done apart from him. Even further he says, “if anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.” (v. 6) So what can we do that lasts?

Only two things will last for eternity: his word and our souls. (our relationship with him). Investing in knowing him through his word and investing in others. The return on that investment is unimaginable and probably not fully realized until we see him face to face. A continuing process which bears fruit long after we are gone.

We cannot produce the fruit he calls us to produce on our own efforts (apart from him). That is a relief. We can choose where to invest our time and our lives. I believe the best choice is to work on our own personal relationship with Christ. By remaining in him, listening to him, planting his words in our hearts, growing in him and investing in others. He will do the rest of the work by producing the fruit that stems from Himself, The True Vine.

thoughts on discipleship

I am in the process of getting a lot of training in leadership and discipleship right now in my life...

One of the most interesting things i just read in a book called "The Master Plan of Evangelism" is this:

"If at this point (after 3 years of Jesus' ministry on earth) one were to measure the effectiveness of His evangelism by the number of His converts, Jesus doubtless would not be considered among the most productive mass evangelist of the church... why did Jesus deliberately concentrate his life upon comparatively so few people? Had he not come to save the world? The answer... Jesus was not trying to impress the crowd, but to usher in a Kingdom. This meant that He needed men who could lead the multitudes.... Though He did what he could to help the multitudes, he had to devote Himself primarily to a few men, rather than the masses, in order that the masses could at last be saved. This was the genius of His strategy." pg 31-33.

I love how relational the concept of discipleship is. Meeting with a few, walking with them in life, holding them accountable, pushing them to be more like Christ, seeing hearts changed and then sending them out to do the same. Just as Jesus did with his disciples. I also love how the multiplication of it works: if 9 people each disciple 3, that's 27 who will each take 3 more and that's 81 and so on. There could not be an investment more worth it than to spend your life working for what will last for eternity.

Becoming a "multiplying disciple"; that is my goal for where I want to see people headed as they come to YAC and as they grow in their faith and become more like Christ. For people to not only be discipled but to in turn disciple others, who will in turn disciple others, who will in turn disciple others. So that this ministry will have an eternal impact and out live us and even itself in the lives of people who become devoted followers of Jesus.

"To usher in his Kingdom" together.

church is changing

SO, i just finished reading "Hipster Christianity: when church and cool collide" by brett mccracken (27 years old). There is definitely a change in the air about how young people are thinking about church. I just want to share a few quotes from the book rather than try to sum it up myself... because he articulates it so well. (although i recommend reading the whole book to get the point in it's entirety)

"Is Christianity cool in today's culture? And I mean naturally cool. As in- are people attracted to and desirous of it on its own accord? or must it be cool in the marketed, presentational sense? or perhaps there is a third option- a much more insidious, countercultural idea: perhaps Christianity is hopelessly unhip, maybe even the anti-cool. what if it turns out that Christianity's endurance comes from the fact that it is, has been, and continues to be the antithesis and antidote to the intoxicating and exhausting drive in our human nature for cool (for independence, for survival, for leadership, for hipness)? pg 29

"the whole notion of cool says we are better than the majority-we are a minority with privileged knowledge and narrow access to whatever is "in" at the moment... You don't have to read far in the New Testament that this self obsession is pretty un-Christian. "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (phil 2:3) In Romans there is directive to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought (ro 12:3)... and what do we make of the mandate for every follower of Christ to "deny himself, and take up his cross and follow [Christ]" (matt 16:24)...You cannot be humble and obsessed with your image. You cannot be poor in spirit when you spend five minutes trying to decide which pair of sunglasses to wear or how high to roll up your skinny jeans before leaving the house in the morning. And you cannot put others before yourself if you are sold out to the pursuit of your own cool persona" pg 197

"I think the Christian hipster lifestyle has become far too accomodating and accepting of sin, something that should actually shock and disturb us. If it's uncool to draw lines about what behavior is permissible and prudent for the Christian, then Christians should start getting used to the idea of being uncool." pg 200

"The church today has a weakness for numbers. We are infatuated with measurements and quantified data. In other words the church today operates like a corporation, with a product to sell and a market to conquer. But what happens to our faith when we turn it into a product to sell?... let's think for a minute about what Christianity is and why it doesn't make a good "product"... It doesnt lend itself to an easy commercial sale. Sure there are appealing things about it, but there are also not so appealing things about it (um... taking up one's cross, avoiding sin and worldliness, etc)... when people are sold Christianity they in the same way that they are sold a pair of shoes or cell phone upgrade, they will naturally think of Christianity in the same way they do any other consumer product. Attempting to sell the Gospel as cool, then, is dangerous proposition, because it bases the attractiveness of the Gospel on an external marketability and cool that will appeal to people but has very little to do with the actual content of the message. Converts to this gospel will be like the seeds on rocky soil in Matt 13-rootless." pg 226

"it's significantly harder to convince people to adopt a full Christian life that makes no promises about instant gratification and almost guarantees hardship. Such a thing isn't easily sold, but its worth more than anything you might ever buy." pg 227

"I'm convinced that most secular seekers today care very little about how cool church is, but very much about how authentic it is... they aren't looking for something trendy and fashionable and transient; they want something deep and lasting and transcendent. They don't want a copy cat church that looks just like their own cool culture (only a few steps behind) they want something alternative, unique, profound, lasting and transformative." pg 228

"True relevance does not fear unpopularity. Because it clings to eternal truths, relevant Christianity doesnt feel hurt when people don't smile and nod affirmingly at everything its says. It doesn't flinch when accused of being "out of the loop" or behind the times." Accusing something eternal of being behind the times is, of course, laughable." pg 241

"Quite simply, the church needs to remember that this whole thing is not about us, but God. We should not go to church to get something, because church is not about us." pg 243

"The desire to be cool, hip, fashionable and recognized... its all a vain pursuit and a waste of time. it comes from a very human place, but it's a distraction and a self destructing futility. Our instinct toward cool will only be satisfied in Christ. As new creations, saved by grace and guided by the Holy Spirit, we are called to lives of selflessness and love and renewal. Here-in service of Christ and with God as the center and core of out being- our identities become more fully realized than we've ever known. If that's not cool. I don't know what is. pg 247

read more in THE WALL STREET JOURNAL

also for fun

sabbath! i love fridays

(i thought that first picture really illustrated rest. its from a time in Spain and the second is of recent times here!)

Friday's are my day off. Today is Friday! I look so forward to Friday's because i get to rest. I get to take my hands off my work, off the ministry and put it to the side.

I think I really overworked myself this week... and i was thinking this morning how overworking is a form of distrust. Because it's not believing God has it all in his hands so i need to take control and do all these things. But really I need to rest, to put it in his hands to trust him to do what he is gonna do anyways.

In Exodus one of God’s biggest themes is REST. The sabbath. Having one day of no work, no business, just pure rest. And he was so serious about making sure that they rested that it said, “anyone who works on the Sabbath will most certainly be put to death.” ~Ex 31:15

SO I started wondering why it is sooooo important to God that we rest, like a whole entire day of each week to rest. I think it is for the same reason that we like to be so busy and over work ourselves. Because busy-ness distracts us from God, from the deeper questions and difficulties of life. Over working makes us feel like we are productive and got life under control. But when we have it all under control we don’t really have to trust God.

Maybe God wants us to rest so that we will leave our work alone to actually be with Him, for Him to show us that the world actually won’t stop if we do, and to deal with things and trust Him and His work rather than ourselves and our work.

Overworking comes from distrust and leads to a drained spirit which comes from letting the weight of the world fall on me... which in turn makes me less productive and less available.

I love that God modeled this for us. "And God blessed the 7th day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done." ~ Genesis 2:2 God took part in the Sabbath, God rested. I wonder what God's rest looks like??

After Friday's I know I always feel rejuvinated, re-energized, and restored. He fills me up so I can go back into another week ready to give out of His abundance and the new energy and trust he gives when we submit to his command to REST.

lessons on leading

So the other night a bunch of us went to dinner. Afterwards we planned to go to this party that Mary told us about... she said it was on Allison Ave but didn't know how to get there. I said, "oh! i know exactly where that is, its in my neighborhood!" So since we had like 20 other people that wanted to go with us to the party I just told everyone to follow me.

We drove down Allison Ave looking for the house number and soon hit a dead end with out having found the right house. So me, in my flustered-ness made a U-turn in the middle of the street. 20 cars behind me made a U-turn in the middle of the street. So then we saw that Allison Ave actually continued on in another direction, so we followed that one, looking down that street. It wasn't there either, more U-turns. hahahah the stream of headlights was just hilarious driving all around my neighborhood.

We hit a few more dead-ends and ended up loosing more than half the group before we actually found the party.

That night I lead people astray.

So at church and in my job i have been placed in a position of leadership. I feel weird being a "leader" i don't know... i know ive been a leader in ministry before for people younger than me. But now i am leading people in their 20's like me.

Craig Strickland, our senior pastor has offered to mentor me in leadership. That is huge! I feel honored and privledged to learn from such a great leader like him... but I also feel scared when I think of this verse: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." ~ Luke 12:48 I've been given so much by being offered this mentorship.

Sometimes doubt creeps in though. What if I fall, what if I fail, what if I lead people astray?

That night I learned a lesson about leading...If people are willing to follow you, you've gotta know where you are leading them to.

I have been thinking about how to apply this in ministry, really re-evaluating where exactly are we leading these people and how to be sure we know the destination we want them to go.

But maybe it's less about where I want them to go... and more about who I am following and where he wants us to go.

Jesus says, "...he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out...he goes ahead of them and HIS sheep FOLLOW him because they know his voice." ~ John 10:4

I am following Christ, I know his voice, he has called me by name. And as a leader maybe I'm just bringing others along the way...

Back in July of 2006 in Pittsburgh this is what I learned and wrote about leadership. "This week I learned the kind of leader I want to be by watching the way Robbi Fischer and Nick Dusenbury lead us. They lead out of humility and intimacy with God. I loved working under Robbi because I know with out a doubt that he believes in me. I want to be encouraging, believe in others and lead out of humilty and knowing Christ in an intimate way like Robbi and Nick"

Craig said my mom is the "most well-rounded leader". I've watched time and time again people ask my mom why her ministry is so successful. She says, "we pray". They say, "yeah.. but what do you do? what is your plan of action?" "we pray." yeah but what is your strategy for growth?" "we pray". My mom leads out of prayer. She brings others along the way in seeking God through prayer. In prayer we know his voice. In prayer we grow in intimacy with Christ.

I have so much to learn... but these are things I have observed, learned and thought about recently. I want to lead out of prayer and intimacy with Christ as we follow his lead.

momentary troubles

a weight of glory.

so the theme of "praying expectantly" has come up a few times in conversations and at bible study over the past few days. Last night Tabitha and I were talking about that again. I told her I was reading back over my prayers from last year and I prayed for certain things with such expectation and certainty that God would do it. I was so bold to ask God to do what I was asking that summer.... That summer, I even thanked him because, "God I believe that you will do it this summer".

He didn't.

He did nothing that summer... or it seemed in the moment.

I was telling her this and she said, "yeah Molly, but you know if God would have answered your prayer the way you wanted him to and expected him to none of this would have happened. The Young Adult Community wouldn't have started. All these friendships wouldn't have formed. Our friendship wouldn't have formed. People wouldn't have found this place of community centered around Christ. Some of these people wouldn't have come to know Christ thru this ministry. All if it would've gone your way...

ha well, yeah im thankful for a friend who can put things in perspective for me. It is true, if I would've got what I wanted that summer... like the job at Elevation, i wanted more than anything. I prayed every day that they would call me and I looked at my phone every 5 minutes expecting them to be about to call me... for weeks. I never got the call.

So I'm still trying to figure out the praying with expectancy. But I do know I can pray for whatever and expect God's very best. Maybe me staying around Memphis wasn't what I was expecting when I was praying so "expectantly" but He kept me here with his very specific plans and purposes, which were greater than what I'd ever hoped for.

And through that very painful summer for me, my disappointments in not getting what I thought I wanted.... he brought about something he intended to do all along. Start this ministry for people in their 20's in Memphis.

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory that far out-weighs them all" 2 cor 4:17

My troubles last summer were momentary and light compared to the greatness of what he has done and is doing now. Im so thankful to look back and see a glimps of what all he was producing with my pain last year. Looking at it now, it was all so worth it... God was working on things for eternity, not for my pleasure for the moment.

"so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." ~ 2 cor. 4:18

room of mirrors

(the pictures have nothing to do with the blog... just some fun ones from recent times)

soooo lately i've been noticing how easy it is to grow discontent... It's like there is always something more that we want. For me, i think about how for so long i wanted a job, not only a job, but a job that used my gifts and passions. Now i have that job, and I love it. So why do I find myself wanting more? It becomes so easy to loose sight of what I have, all i have that is so good in my life and search for even more. I begin to loose sight of Christ and my eyes wander to other people and see what they have and think, "if only i had that... then..."

Comparing yourself to others is one of the most life draining thing you can do to yourself. The bible says, “Envy rots the bones.” Jesus said, “I came that they may have life and have it to the full.”

You begin to see what you don’t have and your eyes become fixed completely on self. It is like you are in a tiny room that is so small you can’t even take a step. The walls are mirrors all around you. It gives the illusion that it should be big, spacious and full, but in reality it is only reflecting your own image over and over until you cannot look beyond your self. You cannot see others. You cannot love others. Life is sucked dry.

I am familiar with this room, I’ve been in it many times. There are many doors through which you can enter: pride, envy, selfishness, etc, but I have only found one through which I can exit. The door of Praise.

When I look up and see God who saw beyond himself enough to send Jesus, his son to die for me, I can’t help but praise him for that kind of love. When I begin to focus on all that he has given me, I can’t help but thank him. When I see how much he values me, I give thanks for the way he has made me and designed my life. Then I see clearly that none of this is about me, it is all about him. All he gives us and all he has done for us is to enable us to give back, to love him and love others, to serve others, to be free. In this realization you no longer have anything to envy rather you find that you have everything to give.

“That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.” ~ Gal 5:26 MSG

“Worship God if you want the best, worship opens doors to all his goodness.” ~ ps 34:9 MSG

the gospel

The message at YAC this sunday was so good. we're going thru a series in Galatians. this week was on Galatians 4 by my dad. Here were a few really big take aways for me.

"If you read 1 peter 1:12 it is saying that the gospel is something on which the Angles long to look into. Angels are pretty smart beings, the don't have sin in their lives, they are very wise, their knowledge of God is beyond our comprehension... so you've got to ask the question, what is it about the Gospel that would keep the angels going back to the Gospel to find new things in it? There has got to be more to it than this is just the way to get your sins forgiven."

He said for many of us we add to the Gospel. We say Christ + something else makes us feel okay with God and okay about our selves. That is self-salvation. That means that what Jesus did has no weight or power if we add to it. That is really distrust in the truth that our salvation comes by grace alone. "in other words, we feel better or worse about ourselves before God based on how well we have or haven't done in the Christian life"

my performance + other's opinions of me = self worth

"For if you and i are trying to make ourselves look good for God, ourselves, or others by saying this or that, or trying to maneuver the spotlight of people's opinions... you actually in doing so are cutting yourself off from Christ. why?? because you are no longer depending on God's grace, but upon your own self effort. You are essentially saying Christ is not sufficient enough, i need something more.

Christ + something else(something that comes from me) = ok-ness with God

Paul says it is Christ + nothing = right-ness, ok-ness with God.

So he challenged us to "strip ourselves of all the other things we use to justify ourselves, to understand that what Christ did on the cross so much so that it overwhelms every other competing desire of our hearts, and to pray that God would fill our hearts with the Holy spirit that he will reveal to us the riches of being a son or a daughter of the most high God."

He summed up with saying this isnt something that you can come back with in a week and have it down. it is a life long learning process.

simple, true and to the point. so good for us to hear! and really think hard about.

happy birthday dad

so ive decided to start posting on here again more often. today seems like a fitting day, this is for you dad! Happy birthday, I love you. here is part of a blog i posted about my dad a few years ago... its still so true

"If there is any reason I have a good concept of God as my father it is because of the way the love of dad has pointed me to the way God loves his children. I feel so thankful to have grown up under the example and love of my dad. By us watching him, he made his children fall in love with family and with God, there probably isn't anything greater than that! Through out our lives I have watched him follow God in the the closest way and taking our family along in each step of faith in His journey for us. It encourages me to do the same with my own life.

In my dad's love I have experienced what it means to be enjoyed. Dad has sacrificed himself in so many ways for us. Even as far as allowing himself to be the one we "give a hard time" when joking around. Some how he created an atmosphere of rest and fun in our home. When I remember growing up, the first image that comes to my mind is us sitting around the dinner table laughing and enjoying one another. "

It is so cool that God has lead me back to Memphis and to work at Hope where my mom and my dad both work. I always joke and say im following in the family business! haha! Almost every day I go to my dad's office and i get to sit and learn about ministry from someone who is so experienced and who God has used to impact so many lives for the Gospel. I feel so lucky to get to learn from him as I am still so new at this job.

One day I went in there crying, so stressed by the pressures of numbers and programming and he said I want to show you something: he pulled out his trash can. It was full of hundreds of papers from a huge binder. He said Molly, I spent years planning, stressing, sleepless nights over this ministry program and do you know what? it eventually came to nothing, but do you what lasted? My relationships with the people. then he began listing the names... This stuff didnt end up mattering, the relationships are what matter. Remember that." That was a powerful moment for me. My dad is soooooo wonderful and I get to learn from a great man. I'm so proud to be his daughter.

I love you dad, happy birthday!

what I am learning these days

December and January have been a whirlwind. I began a new job at Hope. It is so wonderful! I get to do what I love. But with it comes great challenges: the urge to take on way more than I can handle, over working, growing a ministry, the pressure of number goals, and people please like crazy. Two Sundays ago I felt so excited when more people than ever had come to the the young adult community. The following sunday our numbers went to a new low. I was discouraged, very discouraged.

But today I thanked God for bringing so few people last Sunday because he has done so much in my heart through that. Through it he has also given me a new vision, passion and perspective on ministry, himself and myself. As I see more of my weakness, I see more of his grace and patience with me. I also see more of his strength and his heart and his love as we walk through this together.

For Christmas my dad gives a uniquely special, thoughtful gift to each of us. Along with it comes a heart felt letter which usually makes the whole family cry because they are so full of love and thoughtfulness. "Molly, what I'm giving you was so very foundational, directive, and formative for both your mom and I in our early years of ministry, that I want you to have it as well, I hope it will be every bit as foundational and instructive and tangibly practical for you too as you learn to lead people in Christ." It was a cd set of teaching on leadership by Howard Hendricks. I have been listening and learning ALOT from it since I received this gift.

So with that teaching, the example of my parents, disappointments, some verses in Colossians, and God's treatment of me, He has infused new perspective in me.

God is showing me how he cares more about the quality of my character than the pace of my growth. He cares more about our relationship and our love than how many emails and phone calls I do in a day. He cares more about my heart than my appearance. He cares more about the quality of endurance built in me than the finish line.

And so similarly, as far as ministry goes, my perspective is changing from quantity to quality. From numbers to hearts. From tasks, plans, and projects to discipleship, spiritual growth, prayer and relationships. My mom always says, "there are only two things will last forever: the word of God and people." I want to invest in people. I want to make disciples who will go out and make more disciples, who will bear fruit and invest in more people who will then go out and do the same.... and so on and so on. I want to know and love God more. I want to be formed into the image of Christ more than I want any of the other things that come or go in ministry... to invest in what will last, people, the hearts of people.