the little things

(the top picture is of the plaza outside of my apartment and the bottom picture is of a Senegalese lunch that a woman from Senegal cooked for us. She is good friends with people on the team here.)

Los pipos: That is the name of the coffee shop that I used to run by every day for the past 4 months. The reason I even took time to notice it is because of a person inside. Every morning as I was on my way back home this older man (who I am pretty sure owns and runs this coffee shop) would see me, throw his arms up and cheer me on and I'd smile and wave! It became a little tradition of ours. We never talked but we knew eachother, he always knew when to look out the windows for me as I would come running by. One day he even stepped outside and waited to give me 5. One of my favorite classes in college was Non-verbal Communication. We learned how you are always communicating by your actions, expressions, body movements and appearance ect. I finished my runs every morning smiling because of his encouragement though nothing was ever said… except for on the last day of my run in that neighborhood (before I moved). Instead of running by, smiling and waving I got the courage to go in. I was out of breath and sweating and thanked him for encouraging me every morning. We talked a few minutes, I told him next time I see him I would come in for a cup of coffee. Isn’t it cool yet kind of scary to think just how much affect you can have on someone with out saying a word?

La Linea: This is the name of the town where a lot of my friends are from. It is about 5 hours from Granada and it is a beach city in Cadiz. The fair was there this past weekend. For months they had been talking about me and our other friends coming for the fair. I had to travel by myself because I couldn’t come on the same day as everyone else. It was kind of adventurous though! I had to go by taxi, train and bus. It was really fun to be with everyone for one last time before they all split up to go to their own hometowns for the summer. My favorite moment was waking up the next morning and being with a bunch of the girls, it reminded me of my group of friends in high school when we’d all sleep over at someones house. I was just thinking, “wait, how did I get here again?? In this random city, in this group of friends that now just assumes and treats me (this random American girl) like I am one of them?” I have spent a lot of time observing them and their interactions. Based on their role in the group and their personalities I have made a parallel with some of them to each person in my group of friends from high school. For example, Maria is Jessi, Tania is Katie, Irene is Shannon, Pilar is Emily, ect. I’ve told them that and they really like it. They say, “molly, why am I so and so?” and I explain what I have seen in them and observed about them. I think it's cool because in my mind and maybe theirs it has brought 2 far apart worlds closer together. The next morning some of us laid out on the beach and right in front of us was Gibaltar, it was beautiful. My life feels random sometimes. Often I look around me and I just start laughing because some of these situations I get in here are SO different to what I’ve known. But every now and then I see these underlying similarites that facinate me… how all people are just people and we all really want the same things, we just go about seeking it out in about a million different ways... I don’t know, people intrigue me. I love people. Oprah says, "the common denomenator in the human experience is that everyone is asking, "do you see me? do you hear me? do I matter to you?" If we only really believed how much we matter to God and that we have everything we could ever dream in Jesus.

Calle Varela: This is the name of my new street. I have officially moved to the other side of Granada to my new apartment. I’ve been here about a week and I love it! I was so worried and sad about leaving my last place, but here God has been faithful, again… even when I didn’t have faith that he would be. Jamie, my new roommate has been great to live with! We’ve really had some good talks and found a lot of understanding and connection. She was a high school Spanish teacher in Iowa. We’ve made it a rule to only speak in Spanish in our home, so that is helping a lot… and when I think back to how I failed Spanish class in high school… its just so ironic I am living with a Spanish teacher in Spain! I am so thankful for being here.

aww i love goggles!

that's for you ct~!

I really do love goggles though... swimming is one of my most favorite things in the world and I was reminded of this the other day when I went to Maria del Mar's pool in her hometown Loja with a bunch of our friends. She has a house just outside the town with almond, fig, pear, and palm trees. It is so beautiful and tranquil. This was maybe one of my most favorite days in Spain so far. And it got even way better when I put on these goggles that some one brought! I don't know what it is about swimming... but I really think I have my best thoughts while under water (with goggles on.. of course). It was like 8:00 when the sun was setting and everyone else got out to play trivial pursuit in Spanish... so I stayed in to swim laps. The way the sun was shining on the water and the smoothness of the water on my freshly shaven legs was so heavenly!

The other night my friend Maria was like, "molly I don't get why you like to get up so early to run." I said "I love it because it is a new day and as I am running I just feel so "lleno de paz" (full of peace)!!" And she said, "molly, when I am sleeping in my bed and you are out running I just feel so..."lleno de paz." hahahahaha I really liked her joke! So earlier that day (that I went to Loja) I was worrying a lot and as soon as I started swimming I just felt this peace come on me. I was literally thinking "I am so lleno de paz right now!" God was taking me back to all these other times in my life when I was swimming like, in Boone on campus after modern dance class, in Wilmington when I would wake up for the sunrise and run with my goggles in my hand to a neighborhood pool and jump in after pouring out sweat and last summer when I was living with Carole Ardizzone and her family on Figure 8 Island and I'd run on the beach and swim laps at the club house while old women were doing water aerobics. I was just reminded of God's faithfulness in all these other transitional times my life. And all I could do was be fully in that moment, enjoying my self and God, and savoring the experience of swimming in this beautiful pool on the Spanish country side! It was the most rich and renewing swim I've ever had.

So the next day I woke up with green hair. Apparently there was an extra dose of copper in the water that we weren't aware of. The green shows up on light colors... blond hair for example. So I was able to help them discover this problem with their pool before any other blond spaniard... might have to suffer from having green copper filled hair. I mean it wasn't just a slight tint of green, it was a very noticable green. (and I would've taken a picture of it if I had thought about it, but I was more preoccupied with finding a solution.)

I walked around Granada to every hair salon and farmacy I could find. I would walk in and say, "umm I have a problem, so I was swimming yesterday and the water made my hair green, do you know of a shampoo I can use to get it out??" This actually became fun to me because people seemed to find my predicament very funny. They all stopped cutting the people's hair that they were working on and really tried to help me! One farmacist girl was like, "whhoaa its soo cool I want green hair too!" Others told me I was going to have to become a brunette. I said "but I have been a blond all my life... I can't just switch hair colors in one day!" One guy just felt sorry for me and gave me free packets of sample shampoo. Another man was trimming the hairs of a balding man and said, "yeahhhh men don't really have that problem, let me call a woman" and put me on the phone with her. Another girl couldn't stop laughing and called her friends she was working with to come over and observe and touch it. I had so much fun connecting and laughing with the people working in these places that even though Anna texted me with some seemingly good solutions she found on line, I kept walking around Granada with my green hair and finding more hair stylists to laugh about this with!

As I was in my bathroom scrubbing my hair first with a mixture of baking soda and shampoo (which didn't work) and then drenching it in lemon juice I was just thinking, "so pool uncertainty must be one of those cultural adjustment things they were talking about in the overseas training..." Anyways lemon juice saved my hairs' life! and I am so thankful to be a blond again! I think I am going to go back to all the places and show them my hair and tell them how I fixed it. Since hair is their profession they should know things like this. Plus they never know when another blond will come walking into their salon with green hair asking for a solution.

letting go

"'today you will be with me in paradise' is what Christ whispers to every dying saint"

I read this quote in a book opened up in someone's bathroom the other night! and I was very encouraged in that bathroom.

Lately I have been experiencing my weakness as God has been sheding light of the width and depth of my sin. I've been seeing my lack of trust as I am about to go through another transition (as I move and as my friends go home for the summer). I'm so in love with where I am and the people around me that I fear to loose them and my fear makes me want to take control... in this uncontrolable situation. So I am faced with the difficult question, does my love for God's gifts exceed my love for him? Can I really loose all for his sake and know that still I am loved beyond measure, beyond anything anyone can offer?

As my awareness of how unworthy I am grows... I wonder why God would even want to use someone like me? I got home the other night discouraged by all this and sat down with my roommates for dinner. Our conversation lasted two hours. For the first time I feel like I was truly able to express my heart and my love for Jesus to them in Spanish. They were talking about how they hate the church because it is so hypocrytical, only wants power, and you must look and act a certain way to go. I told them I know of churches where the genuine desire is to share God's love with broken, sinful, needy people. I said in my church people can come just as they are and know they are embraced and loved by God not because they are good, but because He is and Jesus died for this. I told them that He is my life and I love him and enjoy him. I don't think I am perfect because I sin... a lot... every day and every day I ask for forgiveness. They said, "wow I thought the movies were exaggerating that there were still people like that." I was thinking "what movies???" Flora said, "molly I'd like to think like you." and I said "oh you can!" she said "no I can't do the religion thing." I said "you don't have to do anything, it is about what jesus already did for us." she said "and that is the problem, I don't believe in God or Jesus."...and my heart breaks... But I could sense that God's spirit was working in this apartment, in that conversation and I remembered that it is in God's character to use broken, weak people so he gets the glory... maybe that is why he'd like to use someone like me.

Moving on and stepping forward when it is hard and when it hurts is about dying to my selfish loves, dying to my self, laying down my life and walking a step at a time, trusting the One who ultimatley died because he loved me more than himself.

The other night a group of Americans (who are visiting for a prayer conference) and I were sitting around after a dinner on someone's patio and they brought out a guitar and started singing this hymn, "you can have all of this world, give me jesus, give me jesus... " And I opened up my hands and let go of my love for these things, these people, this apartment, this time in life, these gifts and sang "you can have them all.... give me jesus." I am sure this is a process where I will let go and grab back on and let go and grab back on... but I know I am guaranteed help from Him. And I don't know what will happen tomorrow or the next month or the next year, but as I let go of my life and I die to myself... today I am with him in paradise.