creative best

When I like something, I love it! I've always been that way, whatever I'm into, I'm so fully into it and passionate about it. Right now there are a few prominent spiritual leaders that I look up to and admire so much. I listen to their sermons and messages and study how they lead... all the time. They help my faith grow, they inspire me, and keep me motivated.

I watch them making such a large impact on the world, they communicate the Gospel so effectively, they lead in great, bold ways, they lead people to Christ and they challenge people who are walking with God. 

And I am in awe of that. So much so that I have found myself comparing myself to them. I want to lead like them! I want to do greater things for God like them! I want to speak like them! I want to be a part of a great movement of God like them!  

The funny thing is I am so different than these people I admire so much. I feel myself being like God, if you made me more like this or I had a story like them, then I could be so much more effective like them. My tendency is to want to just copy their style and ideas and I have done this in ministry just because it impacted me so much.

But I feel recently like God is showing me that he doesn't want me to be them, he wants me to be me. He doesn't want me to be another Christine Caine, he wants me to be Molly Ruff. 

"That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse.  We have far more interesting things to do with our lives.  Each of us is an original." ~ Gal. 5:26

When you watch "The Voice" or any show like that, the thing that makes the difference between a good artist and a great artist is when they "know themselves." You hear a judge say something like, "You know who you are, you have a unique style that makes to stand out, I haven't heard anyone like you." And they are criticized if they sound exactly like another famous artist because they are similar but not as good as the original.

So I am asking God to help me lead like I would lead. To help me speak and lead out of my personality and who he has made me rather than who I want to be like. Here are some verses that are helping me in this:

"But if you are content to be yourself, you will become more than yourself." ~ Luke 14:11

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life." ~ Gal. 6:4-5

When I try to imitate an original, it never comes out as good.  It also takes way less work and creative energy to copy. But if I spend less time looking around at others and more time listening to God and what he wants me to do, it's more work, it's more challenging, it's more creative energy, it's more focus and it gives him way more room to work out something new and original through me. 

This challenges me to do the creative best I can with who I am and the ministry he has chosen me, not a cheap imitation of someone else, but me to lead. I will sink my self into that.