thoughts on doing ministry

You have to make ministry personal, but you can't take it personal.

By that statement I mean this: You pour your heart, your life, your soul, your very self into ministry and into people but when they walk away or reject you or leave you can NOT take it personally. It's such a paradox.

I've been through lots of ups and downs with people and seen SOOO many people cycle in and out. I've watched people come and love it and leave it just as fast as they came. I've chased after people, I've begged people to stay, I've held on so tightly. I think the challenge is, over time how do you continue to be open to new people, new relationships and not want to close off because, who knows how fast they will leave too?

So I look at how Jesus did ministry, specifically when people left him. "From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. You don't want to leave too, do you? Jesus asked the twelve." ~ john 6:66-67

Jesus did not chase after them. Jesus let them go. Then almost lovingly, he said, yall dont want to leave too? Like I will let you go if you do, but I love you and it would hurt.

But then you read a passage like where Jesus says, "Does he not leave the 99 in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he find it." ~ Luke 15:4

The difference here, is that the sheep is lost, the people that turned away had known him and did not choose him. I have heard the saying, "Focus on those youre trying to reach, not those you're trying to keep" I think you must focus on both, but not try to do things a certain way to keep people that would risk finding the lost.

What I am realizing is I feel loved when people love the ministry and rejected when they leave the ministry. Naturally, because it's an extension of myself. But what I am doing is throwing my self in between what God is doing with his people. It is HIS work when he draws them and it's between them when they walk away from him. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

But the the selfless way to do ministry is to give it your all, love with all you got, remain open, remain giving of yourself, risk yourself on people and expect nothing back. Some people receive it and others reject it. When people reject that, let it go, don't chase after them, don't hold on. Trust that it's between them and God, not me and them.

I can do this because Jesus on the cross loved me with all he had, he was open, he gave of himself, risked himself on me, he poured out and expected nothing back. He gave me the option to receive it or walk away from it. When I believe that, I can pour out and expect nothing back.

When I believe that, I can make ministry personal and not take it personal.

news

The Gospel means "good news." This is the only thing that has ever happened in history that is still called "news".

Everything else in history is called "history".

It is still called news because it is still relevant to all our present situations. It will always be transforming us, teaching us, growing us. It always parallels and applies to us and daily circumstances.

The Gospel is ours to look at, observe, meditate on, enjoy and be thrilled by whenever we want.

As we are always moving onto something new, the Gospel stays constant and applicable to all of our newness.

It always makes us new. It always renews.

"New mercies for today..."

Jesus is and always will be our best news.

i wrote this Oct. 6, 2005

movement & kingdom

Lately I have been overcome with a new or re-newed passion to see God's spirit work mightily in our generation. I want to see him do great things, I have high hopes and big visions to see him bring tons of people to him and grow in him. I want to see people's faith be sparked with passion and desire to really give all areas of our lives to him. I want to see deep faith, passionate faith in God stirred up in my generation.

And I get so excited for what he will do and I want to go out and see a great movement of his Spirit like today!

But in my times alone with God, he reminds me that "there is big potential in small beginnings." That the day to day work isn't always big and glorious, it is tedious, repetitive, it is obedient. It is faithful in the now, in the small, with the little.

I remember Jesus' strategy was to invest in 12 men. 12 men, not huge crowds, but 12 men who would reach the masses. Men who hung out with him all the time and even towards the end still didn't get it, still let him down. He still kept investing in them. He started small and continued with it.

Today when I was praying I was telling God how much I desire to see his kingdom come on earth, in Memphis, in my generation. And instantly his words about his kingdom came to my mind.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed seed in his field." ~ Matt 13:24

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree." ~ Matt 13:31

"The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field" ~ Matt 13:44

"The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls."~ Matt 13:45

Small things, small beginnings. Tedious work, continuous looking, sowing, searching, planting. Small steps, continuous investment.

Yet large results, work that was worth all they had, worth selling all they had, worth all the tedious prep work.

Work worth giving our lives to. And so I am reminded to be faithful in what I've been given to do now. Obedient in each step along the way. To not give up or quit because at the proper time we will reap a harvest. (Gal 6:9) We will see his spirit move and his kingdom come... in our generation.

sowing seeds

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." ~ Galatians 6:9

It all began with seeds and suffering.

2008 and 2009 I begged God every day for a job where I could use my passions and live a life of purpose for spreading the Gospel.

Meanwhile, I was living at home. I was working part time at a golf shop and part time filing papers. I used to cry in my cubical while entering numbers into a database. Every day I wondered why? and was this really God's plan? I wanted to do so much more with my life.

July 30, 2009 I started a Bible study on Tuesday Nights for people my age. Two other people that I barely knew came for 6 weeks, then eight people started coming.

I sowed a seed. I took a little step of faith, even though I was going through such hard trials and suffering during that time.

The next day, July 1, 2009 I told God in my prayer how random and uncomfortable it felt to lead a random group of people to study his word together. I sensed him saying to me, "But you're seeking me molly, and so nothing is random."

That Bible study, that seed grew into a full blown ministry. The Young Adult Community. It was not random.

The seeds I sowed in my suffering lead to fruit that I see multiplied in so many lives today. I am in awe of his work and his plan all along.

Especially when I remember how such a small, random action lead to such big, purposeful results.

Especially when I remember how much pain it was all started in and how it is all such a joy to be a part of now.

It really is true what Pastor Steven Furtick says, "You always reap WHAT you sow. You always reap MORE than what you sow. You always reap LATER than when you sow."

So I will just keep on sowing my little seeds...

outstretched arm

When I was 20 I became so enthralled with this concept and studied it so much. Last night at family dinner my dad said something that triggered my memories of this particular time in my life when I studied this theme in the Bible. Today it's helping me again.

First. I recall Jeremiah 32:17 "Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth, by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."

Second. This verse takes me to Hebrews 1:2-3, "..Through [God's son] he made the universe... and he sustains all things by his powerful word."

I have this fact written next to these verses in Hebrews to help me remember he sustains my problems, my future and my life.

"The earth weighs 660,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons. A million earths can fit inside the sun. The sun is an averaged sized star. There are over 200 billion stars." By His Word he sustains all that. (For more a visual on this click here.) Meditating on this really helps me hear Him say to me about my problems, "Molly chill, I got this. If I can sustain all this, I can sustain you."

Third. The Jeremiah verse then points me in this direction. At the passover meal they drink four cups each representing or remembering four promises from God in Exodus 6:6-7 about the freedom of the Israelites. These four "I will" statements/promises were:

1. I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians.
2. I will free you from being slaves to them.
3. I will redeem you with an outstretched arm.
4. I will take you as my own people and I will be your God.

Fourth. I then fast-forward hundreds of years to the "Last Supper" in Luke 22, the Passover meal Jesus participated in right before his death. Jesus did not drink the 3rd cup at this meal. The 3rd cup symbolizes the 3rd "I will" statement: I will redeem you with an outstretched arm. Not only would he become the 3rd cup and pour out his life for our redemption, he would do it with outstretched arms on the cross.

Those arms created the universe and sustains our lives. The most humble act, arms that were nailed down was the most powerful act, arms that stretched out in order to redeem us.

lifter of my head

A few weeks ago I was listening to the radio and they had like a whole afternoon tributed to 2pac. Hearing all those songs brought back such memories of high school and especially when I was 16 and I bought 2pac's Greatest Hits CD and drove around to that all the time.

Anyways that inspired me to download that album in my itunes. And the song I put on my ipod was "Keep Ya Head Up." I listened to this song every morning on my run this week.

Meanwhile I have been focused on Psalm 3 this week. Especially verse 3, "But you are a shield around me O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."

The concept of keeping your head up is such a picture of pride, like find your own strength, do it yourself, and push forward. The concept of God lifting your head is such a humble picture because he can't lift our heads unless they are first bowed down. Keeping your own head up doesn't admit need or weakness. When we in humility say, "I can't do it on my own strength" we admit our need. Then we get to experience someone stronger to do it for us in our weakness.

When Jesus was on the cross it says, "Jesus said, It is finished.' With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." ~ John 19:30. Jesus bowed his head and lost his spirit, so when we bow our heads, we receive his spirit.

That is just such a beautiful picture to me. Everything he calls us to do, in this case, bow our heads, he has already done to the extreme. And because he did it he got death and because he did it we get life. What an exchange.

So next time someone says, "keep your head up" I think what the Bible would imply is to actually, "bow my head down." Bow my head in trust, in humility, and in need. And then depend on the strength of the One who bowed his head in death in order to be the Lifter of my head in life.

decision making

Decision making doesn't always come easy to me. Whenever I have to make a decision the first thing I do is pick up the phone to get opinions. I go to a lot of people and over-analyze and talk and talk about the situation until I'm just more stressed out. I guess the reason I tend to do this is because I like the tangibility and instant gratification of hearing what others say I should do.

I think God is growing me in this area of making confident decisions based on his leading and guidance.

Here are the things I am learning about how to make wise decisions.

I am learning not to make important decisions right away but to give myself some time to make it wisely. This verse has been a huge help to me in being careful about the commitments I make. "It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later consider his vows." Proverbs 20:25

And instead of picking up the phone, waiting until I can go to God first. For me, early in the morning is the best time to listen in stillness because it is a new day and other thoughts aren't cluttering my head. In that time I put my trust in his ability to speak to me and my ability to hear from him. "He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught." Isaiah 50:4. "He goes ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." John 10:4

Then I ask myself these questions:

1. Will it fit into the greater vision and purpose? "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm." Proverbs 4:25-26

2. Who will this affect and how will it affect them? "Be sure to know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds." Proverbs 27:23

3. Am I doing this just to look good and please people or to honor God? "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

After seeking and listening to God and asking these questions then I think it's good to take it to a person who isn't affected either way by my decision who knows me well, and ask them their thoughts on what decision I am leaning towards.

"Let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance." ~ Proverbs 1:5

And once the decision is made and I feel like I've heard from God, the result is peace and a closer knit relationship with Him.