passion

Yesterday at church Tammy Oppenhuizen sang "Breath of Heaven" a Christmas song by Amy Grant. Hearing this song took me back to when I was 19 years old. I fell in love with the lyrics of this song, I listened to it year round, especially on my 3 hour drive home from college on breaks.

The lyrics are as if Mary is singing about her journey carrying Jesus before she gives birth. She says to God, "Do you wonder as your watch my face, if a wiser one should've had my place? But I offer all I am for the mercy of your plan. Help me be strong. Breath of Heaven, hold me together, be forever near me."

I just think that line is probably so accurate of what was going on with Mary. If you look back through out history and all the Bible, all the people God uses are the least likely, humble and who know they are weak. People who know they need God to hold them together and who don't think so highly of themselves but think highly of God and his wisdom and his plan. "do you wonder as your watch my face, if a wiser one should've had my place?"

This song used to feel like somewhat of a prayer for me on those car rides and I haven't heard it in forever until yesterday. Since it took me back to 19 years old, I got out my journal of prayers from 2003 and began to read them. Today I'm learning from Mary and my 19 year old self. My passion for Jesus was so strong, all I wanted to do was give my life, everything, all I was and am to his plan, to him to do with whatever he wanted. I felt so unworthy and so amazed at the fact, that he chose to save me.

Most people are passionate about something, most people have something that makes them come alive, most people have something they love more than any other thing. Often those things revolve around "me" or benefit "me."

What if that passion revolved around the one who is most passionate about us? What if our passion came from a place where we knew we don't deserve to be chosen? What if that passion didn't go towards ourselves but towards a God who loves us, leads us, and calls us to the mercy of HIS plan? And if it's his plan we surrender ourselves to, then we need HIM to hold us together.

I believe that being aware of our need and unworthiness yet seeing his provision and passion for us is such a catalyst to knowing God, surrendering to God and loving God back with humble passion.

worried about many things

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed." Luke 10:39

"worried and upset about many things" is a phrase describes my week last week, especially waking up in the middle of the night with so much on my mind, so many worries, stresses, issues in ministry to deal with have been running through my head.

It seems like this time of year is just so busy and frantic. So many preparations to make, so many people to shop for, places to travel, expectations to meet and this passage is just so calming when you dive into that last little phrase:

"but only one thing is needed."

What is the one thing? Jesus is referring to the thing that Mary, Martha's sister, chose earlier in the passage. "[Mary] sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made."

So you could infer that the one thing that is needed is the presence of Jesus. To sit at his feet, to listen to him. Mary was focused on the presence of Jesus. Martha was distracted from the presence of Jesus. Being focused and being distracted are completely opposite.

What causes me to worry so much are all little things and they add up, they distract me from focusing on the one thing that matters, the one thing that is needed, the presence of Jesus. We always have his presence, but we don't always practice his presence, he's always ready to speak to us, but we don't always stop and listen.

"Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." v 42

I am encouraged to stop worrying about my "many things" to trust him with those things and to practice his presence, to live in his presence, to work in his presence, and to rest in his presence. I want to "choose what is better" because I know it will not be taken away from me.

God's Favor

"The angel went to her and said, "Greetings you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you...Do not be afraid Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give him the name Jesus."Lk 1:28-30.

Favor: "excessive kindness or unfair partiality; preferential treatment."

So I have been thinking, how does one know if they have God's favor, what are signs of his favor on a person's life?

When I look deeper into Mary's story, here is the surest sign of God's favor on a life: He affirms her and then gives her something impossible to do. He gives her an honorable calling, but something that is way over her head.

He treats her with excessive kindness, calling her to be the mother of the savior of the world, but how "unfair" the challenges she will face in carrying it out. Imagine, the difficulty of explaining to others and Joseph that she was pregnant but still a virgin, the difficulty in traveling pregnant and having her baby in a barn, and the worst of all, watching her son die.

With favor comes great honor and great suffering.

When God calls me to do something challenging, unfair, or seemingly impossible, I am learning to choose to look at it as his favor on my life. He calls me to do something that is honorable but I'd rather not cause it's uncomfortable, its hard, it's not what I would choose. But he chooses it for me, knowing I will suffer, knowing I will be stretched, yet knowing I will carry out his will. And I recognize it's not about me, it's about Jesus.

Just like Mary, this calling wasn't about her, it was about Jesus.

And look at her attitude and response to God's call, "I am the Lord's servant.. May it be to me as you have said." Lk 1:38.

Recently he has called me to do something hard, something challenging and I hate to admit that my first response was so selfish, I cried and cried, saying I can't do this. But after a few weeks, I am now choosing to say, "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." This might be hard, it may not be what I want, but it is a sign of His favor on me.

facing battles

"For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO, but our eyes are upon you." ~ 2 Chronicles 20:12

Whenever I'm facing a hard trial that just seems so overwhelming to me, I love to go back to this story in 2 Chronicles. Some of the promises God makes in this story can ring true for me in my battles too. And it also gives me something to do in response to the thing that is discouraging me, making me fear, or overwhelming me.

First here are some of the promises:

"Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's" v 15

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you... Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out and face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." v 17.

So often I want to run from my problems. I look for an escape, but here God is saying to face it, to stand firm, face it and see what He will do.

And here is the response we are to have in facing something that seems to be overwhelming or over our heads:

"After consulting the people, Jehosaphat appointed men to sing to the Lord and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: "Give thanks to the Lord for his love endures forever." As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men.. who were invading Judah and they were defeated." v 21-22

God told them to go into the battle, praising him, to face their situation and praise him in it. I just take so much from that, cause even as I experience things that just seem like such a battle, if I go into it praising God, he will fight it for me.

And at the end of all this it tells about how these men who won the battle went to collect the plunder, to collect everything left behind, things of great value and it was "more than they could take away." When we face our battles and allow God to fight them and we praise him in the midst, we will find more than we can take away from the experience, we will leave with more than what we went into it with.

Not only that, God will be glorified through it and we receive his peace. "The fear of God came upon all the kingdoms of the countries when they heard how the Lord had fought against the enemies of Israel. And the kingdom of Jehosaphat was at peace, for his God had given him rest on every side." v 29-30

gratitude vs. entitlement

Notes from one of my favorite sermons I've ever heard, by Pastor Steven Furtick at Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC.

"God inhabits the praises of his people." ~ Psalm 22:3
"Enter his gates with thanksgiving." ~ Psalm 100:4

1. Gratitude is never invisible or silent

When we are grateful we express it. "Out of the overflow of the mouth the heart speaks." ~ Jesus. He uses Oprah to prove this with a clip from "Oprah's Favorite Things." Where people are cheering, crying, jumping up and down, falling to the ground, because they are so grateful, so thankful when they found out they were about to receiving her favorite things. "if they can get that excited that Oprah is about to give them a pair of Uggs, popcorn, and a car, surely I should give God praise for his mercy, forgiveness, love and salvation."

2. Gratitude sustains joy and blessing

He uses the example of the pedals on a piano or on electric guitars. The pedals have the effect of sustaining the note. They drag the note out longer than the instrument. It puts an after effect on it that makes the note sweeter. Gratitude works in that way. It takes a temporary blessing and carries it out for a long term affect in your life, bringing joy and contentment. I can be thankful to God today for something he did 7 years ago, thus applying the effect pedal on the note of that blessing.

3. Gratitude begins when my sense of entitlement ends

Something that we used to see as an unbelievable perk, over time, becomes just a part of the package. We begin to feel entitled to something that once was a gift. Do you get direct deposit at work? Over time you just get used to it going in and coming out of your account. We start to think it's just a part of being on the earth, but no it's not, it's a blessing to have a job, to have a pay check. We don't deserve that.

Thru Christ we get a direct deposit. His mercies are new every morning. Every morning we wake up his mercy and love, grace, forgiveness hits your account. And over time we begin to feel entitled to it, but we aren't. God could cut that off at any moment, but he doesn't cause he loves you and he's good.

"Do you want your sense of gratitude to stay sky high, keep your sense of entitlement low."

"Mature gratitude comes when we can rejoice in expected blessings and unexpected blessings."

"Gratitude has nothing to do with how good you situation is, but how good you see it to be, based on what you think you deserve."

4. Grateful people can find a blessing, enlarge a blessing or create a blessing in almost any situation.

"Ungrateful people can find a burden, enlarge a burden or create a burden in almost any situation"

"Your situation doesn't have to improve for your gratitude to increase."

happy in his work

"Whoever loves money never has money enough" ~ Ecc 5:10

I think this is true for whatever we love more than God. The concept of: If I just have a little more, then I will be happy. If I just get this, then my life will be great.

I see this in my life. I used to think if I could just move out of my parents house and live on my own, then I would be happy. Then I moved out. Then I thought, if I could just get a job, a real job, a career, then I would be happy. Then I got my dream job. Now there are still things I want and think, if I get that, then....

and deep down, I know that will never stop, unless something changes in my heart.

My dad always says, "even when you get what you want, it's not what you really wanted."

God says, "From now on I am the one who answers and satisfies him. I am like a luxuriant fruit tree. Everything you need is to be found in me." ~ Hosea 14:8 (msg)

Why do we chase after what we already have? If our hearts could only really believe how much we have in Jesus. All our desires, hopes, longings are fulfilled in him. It's just a matter of letting that truth overshadow the lie that we still need something more, just a little more.

Thinking on this helps me to stop. Stop asking and stop looking to the next thing. To begin to appreciate the present. the now. where I am at. this season. this job. this age. this day. this morning. this moment.

"Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is the gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart." ~ Ecc 5:19-20

"To accept his lot" is to be content with this season of my life. "To be happy in his work" is to work with all my heart, give it all I got, to enjoy the day to day task of it, to enjoy the people and the purpose behind what I do.

To enjoy my "lot and my work" is a gift from God.

Wanting and loving God (the giver of enjoyment) more than the possessions and more than the next thing, frees me up to enjoy HIM, enjoy my work, and enjoy what he has given me.

This leads to a heart occupied with gladness.

God's training & discipline

I see so many spiritual themes in the show, "The Biggest Loser". I see themes of identity in Christ, sin, sanctification, but the one I want to write about is the theme of God's discipline.

There are three trainers, each trainer gets a team of really overweight people to work with. Those are the people they are responsible for loosing weight and becoming healthy. They push them, they invest in them, they work out with them, they don't let them stop, they yell at them, they kick them out of the gym if they won't stop holding on to the treadmill, they pretty much abuse their people and push them to their limits and then keep them going.

There was this one scene where this huge 450 pound black man was pushed so hard that he was laying on the ground crying and saying I'm not as strong as I thought, I'm the weakest one here. And Bob his trainer got really close to his face and said, "You have to see who I see that you are. I see an athlete, there is a strong athlete inside of you. That is why I am pushing you. You got here and realized you arent as strong as you thought you were, but we are going to get there together. It's about what you believe, do you trust me to get you there?" Then told him to get up.

"Endure hardship as discipline, God is treating you as sons... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7-11

I see God doing this with us. The things he allows us to go through to train us, he uses to show us our weakness and also to help us discover our need and dependence on him. He sees what we can become, who he can make us, what we have inside of us. But it takes painful experiences to get us there. He pushes us to what feels like our limits. Through it, he is making us like him. He is making us stronger by making us weaker.

The hard part is trusting him when it feels like he's hurting us. That's when we have to hear God say to us, "You have to see who I see that you are." He sees us as he sees his son. He sees Christ in us. He uses the training to make what is true of us inwardly a reality reflected outwardly.

The transformation of their bodies reflects the ability of the trainer and the receptivity of the person being trained.

in the same way..

The transformation of our souls reflects the ability of God and our receptivity to his work in our lives.

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." ~ 1 Timothy 4:8