daily life!

"Who out there has a lust for life? Can't wait for each day to come upon beauty?" ~ ps 34:11 msg.

I love this verse because I identify with the feeling of being so excited for each new day to start. I love mornings! I love sunrises. I think I find something so big and unpredictable in these times. I see a new page, a new day for anything to be written, anything to happen! Sometimes I like to read back over my prayers from the day exactly a year ago and a few days ago I read from April 19, 2006 this is what I said:

"I praise you for walking me through this journey. God, where are we going!? I don't even know! But I know it is with you and I know you know, that's all I need.... Suprise me! :) You have purpose in all you do. Even as Jesus was bleeding, dying, taking insult, being mocked, falling and crying out, you had purpose, you were bringing life and salvation though no one understood... you did... he did... so I am okay with not knowing..."

After I read this I thought... well God you certainly suprised me! At that point going to Spain was not even a thought yet. So a year later I'm sitting here and thinking wow God you did this! You really did this and have purpose in it! And I wake up in the mornings and I'm like "ok God what are you going to do today!?" Sometimes when I am walking I am sure he is leading my steps and I feel honored and thankful that he cares enough to be involved with my moments and details. Here are some of those moments:

Last thursday I went to the park to meet up with this girl Emma (from Holland) to work on our Spanish homework together. Out of no where religion comes up. She said I didn't seem like the kind of person who would go to church or believe in God. I told her I do and that God is the most important part of my life. We began to talk about Jesus and the cross and eternity. It was so much harder for me to talk about my faith in English than in Spanish... in Spanish its just simpler! She told me that she didn't believe in God but the past 2 days other people have talked to her about Jesus, so if there is a God maybe he is trying to get her attention! I said, I know he is!

On Friday afternoon me and some of my classmates met up to get tapas (a small potion of food that comes with a drink) at this little frech crepe place in one of the plazas. There was a moment when I was sitting there and I was kind of in awe of everything around me. I was thinking, "this is such a gift to sit here now and to find connection with these people from around the world." We were talking about our cultures and the girls from England were making fun of me for using words like "ya'll". They said they thought that word was only in cheesy American books... haha.

Sat night I was walking home and I ran into some of my roommates friends. Even though my roommates were out of town they invited me to go get tapas with them. So I went and hung out and really enjoyed my time with those girls. We were talking about camping, so I saw that as an opportune time to share my story about the time I went camping and fell in the fire! hahah I told them, "camping and molly - no amigos!" Then as I was leaving them I thanked them for inviting me to come with them. One of the girls I was walking away with locked her arm with mine and said, "molly, you are our friend now, you don't need to thank us for inviting you." It was really a sweet moment and it would've never happend if my path didn't cross theirs in the moment it did.

Last night my roommates and I all sat down for dinner together and I said, " aww its like family dinner!" Then I remembered how in college it would take my roommates and I a month or two in advance to find a time when we could all sit down and eat together. I told them this and they thought it was so crazy because here we eat lunch together at 2:30 every day and dinner together at 10:00 each night. I remembered how often I ate alone this summer and so many times in college. In that moment I found such appreciation in the slower pace of life here and the value placed on being together, eating slow and enjoying one another.

"worship God if you want the best, worship opens doors to all his goodness" ~ Psalms 34:9 msg It is sooooo true!

a grandmother, a muslim and spanish night life

(this is my Spanish class: 3 girls from Holland, one guy from France, one girl from Lithuania, and me and Mike.)

So when I was in Loja one day I went over to one of my roommates house with a bunch of their friends. We were all hanging out with her grandmother. Her grandmother is soo old, she was sitting at the table in a rocking chair all covered up with blankets. When they introduced me to her they said, "this is molly" (the way they pronounce my name sounds like "moo-lly"). The grandmother was like "what?" and they said, "moo-lly!" and I was saying, "molly, molly" (the correct pronunciation... although I've started introducing myself as "moo-ly" now because everyone always says what? and then the person introducing me says, "moo-ly" and the person I'm meeting says, "aaahhh moo-ly!" ) The grandmother could not understand how to say my name and kept saying "what?" and everyone kept saying my name louder. So I said, "un momento" and I wrote my name down on a napkin and held it up right in front of her face. And everyone busted out laughing and they said, "Molly, she's blind!"

The other day I was sitting in the park and this guy walked up to me and said in Spanish, "are you English?" and I said, "yes! I'm from America" hahaha I understood do you speak English... Anyways he said he just moved here from Jordan and was anxious to meet friends. He told me he was a Muslim and I told him I was really interested to learn more about Islam and he said he was interested to learn more about Christianity. He ended up coming to an English worship service we were having that night (he speaks english). I think he is really connecting with some of the guys here!

Yesterday evening when I got home from the grocery store my roommate was like, "hey molly do you want to come to a suprise party me and my friends are throwing right now?" So I went to this party at 6:00 on sat. evening (it kind of reminded me of the parties we used to throw in college). Later that evening we came home for an hour and got ready to go out. I am learning a lot about the Spanish night life, im learning that it lasts ALL night and requires endurance. I have to mentally prepare for it all day..... SO we leave the apt at 10:30 and meet up with a huge group of their friends. We hung out at this one bar until 4. It was great practice for my Spanish, but thinking and talking in loud Spanish for extended periods of time really makes me tired. SO at 4:30 we went to get food and at 5 arrived at the discoteca. We danced until 7:00 in the morning. The sun was rising on our walk home. It was so fun to connect with their friends and get to know them. I went to bed at 8:45 sunday morning. That was 14 hours of "fiesta". It was a very cultural experience and even though I was tired and drenched in the smell of smoke... I really enjoyed myself and the people who took the time to reach out to me and listen in patience to my broken Spainish and really tried to help me. One of the friends made sure that no one would allow me say a word of English. So many of them talk slow for me and would explain things in a number of ways until I could understand. I am so thankful for the way my roommates have been including me and letting me become a part of their lives. Even with the lack of language, I feel welcomed and more connected as I am settling in here!

When people ask where I am from sometimes I say North Carolina and other times I say Memphis. I get two different reactions for both. When I say Norht Carolina everyone says "ohh ok" and I say do you know where that is and they say no. When I say Memphis everyone says "aahhhh! Paul Gasol" Apparently he is really famous here, maybe there too? He is a Spaniard who plays basketball for the Memphis Grizzlies. I don't know much about sports, but I love how excited everyone gets about Memphis! Now when I introduce myself I say "my name is moo-ly. I am from Memphis (mem-fees)". And when they get all excited about this basket ball player guy I just act like "of course I know who he is!... I am from Mem-fees!"

semana santa

I feel like I got to experience a whole other world this weekend. My roommates invited me to come to their home town, Loja to celebrate Semana Santa (holy week) with their friends and families. Each day and night there are these processions that take place in the street. They carry around these different statues of Jesus and Mary. There are some of Jesus carrying the cross, hanging on the cross, in a glass tomb, and one of Mary on a throne crying. These statues are huge and decorated so extravagatly with gold, candles, roses, ect. People are dressed in these robes with pointy hats follow behind spreading incense (Noemi said they believe the incense cleanses the soul... im like wait... then why are they making a big deal about Jesus if they don't believe he is the one cleansing our souls?) There are like 25 men carrying these massive statues on their shoulders and at certain points they would run up some of the steep incline streets with them and people would clap.

The most memorable night was Thursday when they trun off all the lights in the city and it was silent except for the procession of all these people dressed in black beating drums simultaneously and every now and then they would have some one singing something that sounded like they were mourning or crying. Then they light the way for the statue of Jesus on the cross and all the drummers bow in this circle area outside the church.

The highlights of the weekend: meeting all my roommates friends and talking with them, expecially about Semana Santa and probing into the significance behind it, if it is just tradition or something that is real and true to their lives and learning another culture's view on Jesus.

Strangest thing I saw: posters of Jesus on the cross in all the bars where the even the people in the processions were all drinking. I told them you would never see these kind of posters in a bar in the U.S.

Most un-American thing I did: eating lunch with about 20 of their friends from 2:30 til 6:30... we ate slow and enjoyed each other, it was fun.

Favorite moment: when I was talking about how one of the goals of my life is to make friends in every country and Noemi said, "molly, tu ya tienes muchos aqui." (molly, you already have many here.)

Funniest moment: One of her friends was asking me what we do for Semana Santa and I was telling her about a tradition at my church Forest Hill. I was trying to explain it in Spanish and I said, "On Thursday evening there is a service where we take a nail and nail it to the cross, representing that Jesus was dying for our sins." She looked at me kind of funny and was like, "you nail your "pescados" to the cross?" and I said "yeah pescados... you know bad things people do" and she said "ooohhhh pecados". I originially said "we nail our "fishes" to the cross." hahhahahahahha

Most random thing that happend: I was on Spain TV! hahaha and people told me later they saw me on the news.

some stories and experiences

Learning a new language can be really funny at times. I knew some Portugese before I came here and a lot of the words are similar to Spanish. So I have this thing, "when in doubt throw in a portugese word and see if it works!" On my homework the other night I had to do an excersice of completing the sentence. So it said "Tomorrow I will......" and I put "ligar mi madre." Which I thought meant "call my mom" because in portugese the verb "to call" is "ligar"... but here it means "to flirt" hahaha so on my homework I said "Tomorrow i will flirt with my mom." hahaha....haahhaahha

One day I was walking down the street and saw some guys I met last week when I was playing volleyball at the university. The guys were all about to go get coffee and invited me. So I went thinking it would be a great time to practice my Spanish. We were having so much fun and then out of no where one of the guys asked what religion I am. He told me he didn't believe there was a God. He said he needs to believe something, but not God. Everyone at the table started talking about if God exists. He asked me me why I believe. So I really got to share the Gospel in that time. It was so cool! Even though my Spanish very lacking in vocabulary, verb tenses and congegations, it really made me say the Gospel in its purest/ bluntest/simplest form (with out trying to say it in a socially acceptable way like I would in English).

The other day I was sitting on a park bench looking at my map trying to figure out where I was going and these 2 old women came up to me and they were like, "Do you understand Spanish? (in Spanish)" and I told them "a little." So they said, "We think Dios (God)".. while pointing to the sky... "i love you (then pointing to me)... Dios, I love you...Dios, I love you." Which I'm pretty sure meant "God loves you" and I said, "awwwwwwww I love you too!" Which I meant to say "he loves you too"...haha.. but I think we all got our points across. Then they said, "think about that... that's all" and walked away.

One day I was at Hipercor (kind of a Spain version of Target) and the casheir looked at my recipt and was like "ooh!!... and started telling me something she seemed very excited about in Spanish. I told her I didn't understand Spanish. So the woman behind me in line thought she could explain it better by telling me in louder Spanish. Then they thought I'd surely get it if they both spoke louder, faster, AND at the same time. And I was just laughing and like, "guys I don't understand no matter what volume level you speak at." So they took me over to a counter and basically I won like 5 euros off my next purchase at Hipercor. So after all this she gave me my bags and I went home. In all the confusion she ended up giving me my bags and someone elses. hahha so I got like 3 bags of free fruit!

To say I'm hungry you say "I have hunger". The word for hungry is hambre... The word for man is hombre. SO for about the first week whenever I was trying to tell someone I was hungry... I was basically telling them "I have a man". hahaha

The first night I moved into my apt. my roommates took me out with them to meet their friends and go dancing. I really got a taste of the culture through the music and dance that night/morning.... We got home at 7:00 and i went to bed at 7:30 that morning. That was by far the latest I've ever stayed out...but its all part of soaking in the culture and involving myself in these people's lives.

Two weekends ago I got to go on an incredibly beautiful hike in the sierra nevada mountains with some people I met at church. We walked along the mountain ridges and over looked the city and other mountain ranges. The whole time I was thinking "I can't believe I am here now! doing this!" I was definetly sore the next few days. I started walking at 10:00 that morning and stopped at 5:00 when I got home.

Yesterday on the elevator the man asked me where I was from. I told him "Carolina de Norte" and l drew big circle with my finger on the elevator wall and said, "ok this is the United States... here is North Carolina." He asked how long I have been speaking Spanish and I said only for three weeks. I told him that I think all Spaniards are very intelligent because they know Spanish!" haha I think he appreciated my compliment!

Today I was doing laundry out on our terrace and the door shut behind me and locked. There is absolutly no other way in besides that door... and my roommates are conviently out of town. So I leaned over the balcony and was like, "hola?? hello? someone? ayudar! (to help!)" I kept banging on my door trying to get it open and woman across from me and up leaned out her window and saw me. I was like, "por favor!!" I started explaining to her that i was locked out. She was so kind (even though we could barely communicate) and started throwing all kinds of things from her window (on the 7th floor across to me on the 6th). She threw a knife wrapped up in bags, with a rope attached so I could pry it open. Then we decided that the only way in was for me to break the glass. Next she threw me a hammer and chisle. This whole time, I am barely understanding what she is instructing me to do (bc of spanish). Finally I shattered the glass and got back inside and didn't even get cut!

people versus places

"Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good. God probes for what is good" ~ proverbs 16:2 (msg)

If I had to put in order the top three things I love the most it would be: God, people, and beautiful places. I love these things so much! As I was looking around Granada for an apartment I was so wanting to live in a cool apartment with a beautiful view of the mountains with little terraces and lots of sun light coming in. (every time our family moves to a new house, my mom makes sure to give me the room with the window that faces the direction of where the sun rises.... that is how important a room filled with sunlight is to me.) I spent about a week looking at apartments and couldn't find one that looked good enough. I found one with cool girls, but the apartment had no view and not a lot of sunlight.

Then I remembered I have been asking for prayer that God would provide a place for me to live with roommates that I could find connection with and friendship with... not for a cool looking apartment. As I kept looking every door kept shutting and this one apartment with the girls was still open. So I gave up my love of beautiful places to live here. I have only lived here for a few days and have already fallen in love with my new roommates. They are so fun and have really welcomed me into their lives. Now I love this place, it has become beautiful to me because of the people in it.

So I have learned again this re-occuring lesson of my life. Living well is not about living in a nice place or a beautiful place, but it is about the people our lives intersect with, the people we live with and share life with. I learned this 4 months ago when I didn't want to move to memphis...because... well, its memphis...but then God introduced me to a whole new world of friends there.

Then I think about how Jesus was like in paradise and left heaven to come to earth... to come to this place we made dark by our sin to restore light by showing us what real love is. He left the most beautiful place to come and intersect his life with ours on the most personal level.

I am learning that love really is the greatest priority and purpose in life.

That is why I must continuously remind myself of how much God loves me by looking at how he proved it on the cross by taking death to give me life, by forsaking his own son in his most painful moment in order to be with me in all my moments. To be grateful for the reality of redemption and his righteousness which is credited to such an undesrving person. That is real love. Remembering this, looking at this and experiencing what that really means enables me to love.

This apartment experience has showed me how he loves even on the most personal levels by not always giving me what I want because it looks good, but by "giving me what is good", what he wants... what he knows is best. And what is best always has to do more with loving people rather than loving places.

a freshman in life

I am in Spain now and it still seems so surreal. I really like walking around Granada and experiencing such a different place in the world. It is so...foriegn... It is a really cute city. I like looking at all the newness around me especially the mountains surrounding the city (I can't wait to run through them during the sunrise while listening to the Chariots of FIre soundtrack!)

So I only know a few phrases in Spanish so far. It is hard not even being able to do my own major (communications) here... haha isn't that ironic? For the past four years I have studied, tested on and written papers about talking with people (communicating) and now I am living in a place that doesn't really highlight my area of expertise. But I am excited to learn a new language! I start spanish class next week. I guess I can just look at it like an extension to my orginal major...like getting an unofficial masters!

The only thing I can relate this expereince to is to being a freshman in colllege. I remember driving to Boone with Mom and Dad and John and being so nervous and excited to start a new life there. I was so curious if I could and how I would make friends on my own. One day early on I specifically remember sitting in the McAlister's on campus watching all of the students flooding in the doors and thinking, "oh my gosh there are so many people here... I want to know them all!" In all my nervousness and excitement I jumped into the college culture and found people there who embraced me, took me in and introduced me to so many friends.

So now as I come here I feel the same nervousness/excitement. I want to make friends here and jump into the Spanish culture. I want to learn how to communicate...again... I want to expereince this expereince to the fullest. There are so many college students here (80,000) and I want to know them all! haha well...you know...as many as I can in the next year and a half. So here I am in Granada, Spain... I really feel like a freshman all over again, except this time on a more extreme level... like a freshman in life.

stepping into the certain

Last March I went on a spring break trip to Mississippi to help clean up the damage from Katrina. Being there taught me a lesson which kind of guided me in some of my decisions about my future. As I have been packing these past few days the thought, "wait.. why am I doing this again??" keeps going through my head. So this morning I was looking back at some of the motives and reasons behind taking the steps I have. Here is what I wrote March 19, 2006:

Driving through the broken, torn, crushed city was so surreal. Everything was fallen and scattered… so out of place, it just felt so wrong. You could see people's lives damaged, broken and abandoned. There was a deep sense of unstability. I could just see people spending life times to make life secure and in one day it’s gone...whole lives torn into little pieces.

So as I am about to graduate I see two options to take:

1. I feel that I can take the certain way with an underlying uncertainty. By that I mean work for myself, build up a life, build up stability and live in the hope (or fear) that nothing will devestate, damage or destroy my “earned life”.

OR

2. I feel that I can take the uncertain way with an underlying certainty. By that I mean surrendering the life I hope to build to the One who is the ultimate stability and security. I let the future I imagine and dream of go. And I take each step in God’s guidance, in trust. Never knowing what or where the next step is. This is an uncertain and unpredictable adventure. But I know that in God's hands it will be the most certain plan with certain purpose. And nothing, no flood, no storm, nobody can devestate, damage, or destroy what is founded, rooted and built by the hands of God.

Even when suffering makes it seem like it is being damaged, it is just a part of the construction, the growth, the restoration and the firm foundation.